not sure what to call this quite yet, rn its just a collection of some stuff
01/ 24
age never has really defined be, it's the preparation, the countless hours, the fearlessness. this has become more apparent to me as my peers live completely different lives to myself, and its nothing wrong with the way they live I've just found love in what I've built. and have distaste that society has boxes it wants to put you in rather than trying to understand the full nuance of a person. i feel like everything ive worked for over these past almost 10 years are coming full circle, business, life, family, love for so long ive been committed to the process instead of the end goals or results. turly dedicating myself to just improving even if marginally in all areas of life and drowning out all the noise of everything else - today when i was listening to “wake me up” it felt like my world slowed down - something i used to listen to daily in middle school hearing the acoustic version made the lyrics ring out in my head like I've never heard them before.
“Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
They tell me l'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me”
life is sweet, and I dont know where it will take me. But at the end of the day, im just glad i get to feel all the feelings every day. I'm in love with my life, and everything it’s taught me, im living my dream. it’s not extremely lavish, and the nice “things” aren’t even what makes it sweet, it’s air, the smells, rain, sunsets, peace, love, family, rest, those things make everything feel so sweet.
02/25
its that simple
11/24
Quiet. Over the past few days i’ve had moments of silence, they collect me. they feel like a breath of fresh air. a dip in the Pacific Ocean on a hot day. just ease. between moments of connection and growth of the business, rarely do i have a moment of quiet, or even silence at that. as a child i remember feeling boredom, like a nagging knat, only cured by the presence of being. but now as an adult i can’t say i’ve felt that. everything moves so quickly. and in times of quiet, i feel at peace, no longer boredom, just the conscious brevity of being.
05/24
huge day today! crazy these six years have brought me here, so much ive accomplished but theres still so much to do/ explore. this is only the beginning, who knows where we will be 5 years from now. but i know we're destined for greatness
03/24
i went on a walk today and it was more beautiful than ever. Now, i've walked this trail countless times, it must be in the thousands by now. but today was beautiful, everything felt so new and fresh. like i put in a new set of eyes for the first time. like new contact lenses or a new set of wiper blades. I felt myself enjoying all the small complexities that I usually don't notice, or sometimes even ignore. lately being present has been my present. And everyday that I am , it makes everything else feel sweeter. It's like, I went on a walk today and it was more beautiful than ever.
Stuff From 2/2024
one of my friends called me a renaissance man like 3 years ago and i never forgot that compliment, i wonder if its a core memory?
Stuff From 1/2024
Someday turned quickly into today. Or yesterday, or another day, maybe even back into someday. Overwhelmed, and overstimulated, but with somewhat of a purpose. I feel like these past few weeks I’ve been caught between everything, trying so much but feeling like it’s meant to so little. But, at the same time, it feels like it’s amounted to everything, something to be boastful about because finally, I’ve been unapologetic about trying. Not wishing, but doing. Actually waking up every day and committing to myself. Making the toughest decisions again, and again, and again. But, doing it for myself. For so long I’ve told myself someday I’ll do the things I want. Someday I’ll be the person I dreamt of. But, all of a sudden, endlessly, now I’m him. Not to say the journey is over, but more of that I have everything I need, in this moment. The idea of my idealistic self now lives in the present, no longer the future, and never the past. And that gifts me peace. With every decision as overwhelming and overstimulated as I’ve felt it doesn’t shake me as much as it used to, it feels like purposeful. A page to the story. Never longing for the past or future. I’ve made it. Not to the end but just to, it. And, I am excited to see where the neverending moment of “it” takes me.
With Love,
Your Mind on 1-23-24